Men Don't Have A Feminine Side - Fact!

From the stories I hear, there are a lot of men out there, "looking for their feminine side". But, like the stories of mythical beasts, the characters have yet to appear before me. Like the unicorn and the dragon, the stories persist but the beasts resist. And so the stories of the motlofohifs (man out there looking for his feminine side) continue and grow and the mythical motlofohifs remain hidden in their mountaintop lairs. And I'm wondering what it's all about:
1. Who started the stories?
2. Why did they start them? and
3. Why do the stories persist?

In all the groups and workshops we run for men, I have never found a motlofohifs. And, amongst all the other men I've met, none has turned out to be a motlofohifs - which is a huge relief!

When the stories started, I thought I should become a motlofohifs and I thought about it deeply. Well, I tried to but I really didn't know what I was supposed to be thinking about. Then, I thought I must be stupid or insensitive or something, for there were so many motlofohifs's out there, just doing it. They were doing it without any training so it must, therefore, be some innate ability all men were born with - all except me.

So now I was into guilt and stupidity.

The other thing was that I just couldn't be bothered - there were just too many other things to experience - things to do, places to go. So laziness was heaped onto guilt and stupidity. Then, somewhere in the long ago, the sun rose and, with a blinding revelation, I realized that I had never met a motlofohifs, and I knew a huge number and variety of men. So where were the motlofohifs's?

Eventually, I was able to admit to myself (quite without guilt) that I couldn't be bothered looking for my feminine side and even if I tried it would be pointless - if I bumped into it I wouldn't recognize it:
"Ouch!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm your feminine side."
"Well, that hurt! Whoever you are, go away."

And in that revelation, I realized I didn't have a feminine side. I didn't have a masculine side. All I had was me.

It's a bit like one of the guys I met in a workshop who, in a blinding revelation, realized that he was not a homosexual man but a man who was homosexual. A subtle difference, you may think. He realized that, by putting "homosexual" first, he was putting himself, firstly, into the "homosexual" box and, within that, he was one of the homosexual men. By turning it around he was putting himself into the larger box (called "men") first and, within that, those who were homosexual. He was no less homosexual but, in that turn of phrase, realized his connection with all other men, not just homosexual ones. Apart from his sexual preferences, he had the same upbringing, feelings, dreams and ambitions as all other men.

As I arrived in this world, I knew nothing of myself. I learned what I was from what others identified me as. The first question my parents asked was, "Is it a boy or a girl?" I became a male and that's what I was. My male appendages put me in a box and my training, from then, was the training and expectations of all of those in my box. The other half of the population had different training. What I was, in fact, was a human with male appendages. I am now a human with male appendages, training and expectations and all of those have a bearing on my male mind. The truth and the joy is that, as I realize that I am a human with male bits (and not just a male) I can identify with all humans - I have the same dreams, feelings and desires as the whole human population - not just half of it. I am a complete human and do not need to go looking for any missing bits - feminine or otherwise.

Then, just when you know you know it all, the universe taps you on the shoulder and says, "Not yet, Jose!" - I wrote this article on Tuesday morning and that very same night, at our men's group, one of the men told us how he had met his feminine side! This experience was very powerful for him and he wished he had met "her" before as "she" would have helped him make better decisions in the past. Later, he found that his wife had met her masculine side many years before and had even conversed with "him". She even had a name for him. So, having met a motlofohifs, I find he is also a vodescadm (very ordinary down-to-earth, successful, caring and decent man) and in a blinding revelation, I realized that there may be more than one way to attain the sainthood that I am destined for. Maybe, if I keep my options (and mind) open, I might have more blinding revelations - there seem to have been a lot around lately …